How to help your mom set up a new iPhone (without flying home)

A step-by-step guide to walking your aging parent through a new iPhone setup remotely. The settings to change, the apps to skip, and the things to brace for.

Your mom got a new iPhone. Great. Now she is calling you to "set it up" and you are 800 miles away. Here is the actual playbook.

Before the box gets opened

If you can, ship the phone to yourself first, set it up, and then send it to her. That is the absolute easiest version. If that ship has sailed and the phone is already at her house, do this in order.

First, get on a call. Not FaceTime. Just a regular voice call. FaceTime requires her phone to already be set up, which it is not. Use a landline or your phone on speaker so she can have both hands on the new device.

Step 1: Power on and choose language

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Walk her through pressing and holding the side button (the one on the right edge) until the Apple logo appears. Tell her to hold for a full count of 5 if she is not sure.

The first screen says "Hello" in many languages. Tell her to tap the screen once. She picks English (or her preferred language). Then "United States" for region.

Step 2: The setup options

This is where most people get lost. iPhone will offer to:

Walk her through tapping Set Up Manually.

Step 3: WiFi and Apple ID

She picks her home WiFi from the list. You will need to know the WiFi password. If you do not know it, this is the moment she becomes the password reader: have her flip the router over and read what is printed on the back.

Next, the Apple ID. If she has one, sign in. If she does not, tap "Forgot password or don't have an Apple ID?" and create one. Use her email and a password you both write down on paper. Skip the recovery options nag for now. Skip iCloud upgrade offers.

Two-factor authentication will send her a code. If it sends to a phone she no longer has, this becomes a 20-minute problem. If it sends to her current number, great.

Step 4: The "Skip" tour

iPhone will now offer a parade of features. You can skip almost all of them and re-enable later. Tell her to tap "Set Up Later" or "Skip" for:

The fewer features at first, the less confusion. Add things back over time.

Step 5: Size up the text

This is the single most-skipped setting that matters most. After setup:

  1. Settings > Display & Brightness > Text Size. Slide it bigger.
  2. Settings > Display & Brightness > Bold Text. Turn it on.
  3. Settings > Accessibility > Display & Text Size > Larger Text > toggle "Larger Accessibility Sizes" on and slide it further.

Trust me. The bigger the text, the fewer the calls.

Step 6: The home screen surgery

Out of the box the iPhone has dozens of apps. Most of them will confuse her. Remove anything she will not use:

  1. Long press on Stocks, Stocks app, Compass, Watch, Wallet, etc.
  2. Tap "Remove App."
  3. Choose "Remove from Home Screen" (or "Delete App" if you want it gone entirely).

Keep: Phone, Messages, FaceTime, Camera, Photos, Safari, Mail, Maps, Weather, Settings. Anything else is bonus.

Step 7: The "I cannot find anything" fix

Put the essentials on the bottom dock. Long-press an app, drag it to the bottom row. The dock holds four apps that are always visible. Make them Phone, Messages, FaceTime, and Camera.

Step 8: Teach the three gestures

  1. Swipe up from the bottom. Goes home from anywhere.
  2. Side button. Locks the screen. Press twice quickly to power off (or use the slider).
  3. Press and hold the side button. Brings up Siri or shutdown.

That is enough. The rest she will discover.

What to brace for after the call ends

She will call back about:

This is the moment most people start dreading the next call. Or you can hand her a phone number she can call instead of you next time.

That is what Kinline is. One number. She calls. AI walks her through the iPhone issue in plain English. You get a text saying it is handled. Read the related guides below for more recurring issues, or try the number.

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